It wasn't picture perfect and it wasn't the best. B had to work over Christmas this year. I had told all my friends and family, and most importantly myself that I would be fine alone on Christmas; it was just another day, just like when he goes into the field, any other night he doesn't come home, but being alone for Christmas was different. Not only was I without my only family in California, I am 3,000 miles away from my family and my usual traditions of Christmas. I could barely look at social media the entire day...I just stared in resentment and jealously at people that I loved, and that's not my heart.
I am very thankful, I did get to spend Christmas Eve with my husband and I had wonderful friends who invited me over for Christmas Day, but I just did not have the motivation or energy to spend Christmas Day with someone else's family. I think as military spouses we are under so much pressure all the time to be strong because someone does have it harder than you, and they are usually friends of yours, friends who spouses are deployed, friends who are playing Mommy, Daddy, and Santa this year. But I've learned that while other people will always have it worse, sometimes it's okay to allow yourself to feel a little blue, you don't always have to feel strong because someone has it worse.
We decided to celebrate our Christmas holiday on Christmas Eve. After I got off of work, we cooked breakfast and opened and played with our gifts while enjoying a couple of mimosas.
Later that afternoon we headed up to Orange County for a traditional Polish dinner, Wigilia, with Kate from Set This Circus Down and her family! Kate heard we weren't going home for the holidays and her family immediately opened their home to us. Her family is absolutely blessing; the kind of family that make you feel like family the second you walk into the door. It was such a treat to spend Christmas Eve with a family so similar to ours. I cannot imagine our holiday this year without their hospitality on Christmas Eve.