Thursday, January 29, 2015

Preparing for homecoming

I haven't written much lately because my mind has been completely consumed with two things, if I am just being honest...
wrapping up my last few months at work and homecoming.

The other day I was researching articles on "preparing for homecoming."
There are so many posts on preparing for deployment, but I found very little on preparing for homecoming. What I did find: Do not to stress too much about getting into shape, everything does not need to look perfect, and none of your frantic preparations will even matter when you see your spouse. To be honest - that is probably very true, but if you're anything like me, the "stress" of preparing for homecoming is keeping you sane.

So my "preparing for homecoming list" may be totally against the advice I read, but never the less: Preparing for Homecoming for Type A Personalities
  1. Keep putting along. Do not give up because the end is near. Keep your social calender busy, keep working hard, keep celebrating small milestones.
  2. Start making a list (lists). If you're anything like me, on a daily basis you have a million "tabs open" in your brain. Start writing lists down; to-do, grocery, budgets, I have them all. It helps to collect your mind from going into a million different directions, especially if you are still too far out to actually do anything yet.
    A calender with a list and a list on top of that list.
  3. When he says leave that for me - leave it for him, no matter how much it drives you crazy. We have a light out in the kitchen and for whatever reason, B wants to be the one to go buy the light and change it himself. Same with organizing the garage. When he comes home, I want him to feel like he is needed, because he still is and I make sure he knows it every day.
  4. Your ass is never going to have felt more motivated, get in the gym. Seriously, it's more motivating than a New Years resolution. Even if you are not a gym rat, it's amazing what a reduced sodium intake and some sit ups can do for how you look at feel. Believe me I've seen and felt the results on myself.
  5. Throw the months of homecoming day dreams out of the window and start bringing yourself back to reality. It's going to be perfect in the fact that your spouse is finally home, but it doesn't need to be perfect in any other way. So your curls won't stay in, so they were 4 hours later than they said and you've sweated off all of your makeup...The next few weeks will be a transition in more ways than one - cut yourself and him a break and allow yourself time to get back to your new normal.
All my lovely veteran spouses, spill it, I would love to hear your advice for homecomings!

Thursday, January 22, 2015

5 things I've said...

...and why I am so happy to be past our first year of marriage.

I've been wanting to write this post for a while because it's important and it's something that I personally struggled with. 

One mild fall evening, I sat in the bedroom of one of my best friends in tears, scared about my upcoming move to California, quitting my job, and just overall feeling overwhelmed with being a wife. Being completely honest - those first few months of marriage aren't all flowers and butterflies - it's a weird transition. It's not that I didn't know B, I dated him for 4 years before we said "I do." But marriage isn't dating. 

We're coming up(ish) on our 3rd wedding anniversary and it feels so much more exciting this year compared to the first year. I think both of us were excited that we merely survived year one.
  1. I am exhausted by endless decisions. Every little thing became a joint decision and if it didn't, it became a fight. There is definitely an adjustment period when it comes to having to consider the other person in everything you do. 
  2. You are putting the toilet paper on wrong. I can be mildly OCD about things where as my husband is more laid-back. Occasionally, his side of the bed tends to collect stuff; books, magazines, clothes, gadgets, you name it. It's drives me freaking crazy. But, I have learned where to pick my battles. He helps keep most of the house tidy, knowing I need it that way. So, between his hidden corner of the bedroom (unless there are guests over) and other small irritations due to my own OCD issues, it's important to let a few things go.
  3. I'm doing your laundry, cooking you dinner, and feeling completely submissive to you! This one took the most time and I think "time" is the best advice when it comes to overcoming this mindset. I lived on my own, paid my own bills, and did my own thing, and I felt like in just a few months that was completely taken away. No matter how much my husband supported and appreciated everything I did, this was my personal struggle. The more I fall in love with this man and the more I fall in love with the life we share, the less I care about fighting my independence and individual success. Now, I care about making a home my husband wants to come home to, focusing on what strengthens us as a team, and creating memories that we will cherish forever.
  4. I need a girls night. Ben and I are both social people. He has his friends, I have mine, and we have ours. It's important to have friends you can spend time with together and spend time with a part. Sometimes you just need a night out and you need to be okay with that about one another. It's not that the person doesn't want to be around you, but for the sanity of you both, you still need to maintain those other relationships.
  5. When does it stop becoming my bills, your bills, my money, your money? This one took a while to come to a common ground. I know it's different for all couples, but for us, its our money together. We spent a good part of the first year arguing over whether or not we would join accounts and give each other equal reins when it came to money. Looking back, I am thankful we did. I  would have much rather fought about finances than not talked about them at all. We are finally at a place that makes us comfortable and united.
All of that being said, your first year can be tough. And I would like to add, our marriage has been spent half a part, so it's still not always easy. But it has only gotten sweeter and I absolutely love being married to my husband, it's seriously my most favorite.thing.ever. After I got married, I felt guilty and blindsided by these emotions. My biggest hope is that someone who feels this way, finds this post and will have some peace knowing that, even if it's not normal (or maybe it is), you are not alone.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

inspired by nature

I've finally added the last pieces to my updated entryway. It's such a small little space, literally, it's a wall. An entry"space" gives the initial impression and sets the mood for your home, for guests and yourself, so I have personally always found it important to make ours cozy. I had my eye on this sailor's mirror for months and when I finally purchased it, I loved how much of a statement it made. Unfortunately, I had a hard time giving it that complete look, feeling that everything I added around it didn't match in proportion.
If I'm ever having an artistic block, I always take a walk outside. So on Saturday I grabbed a pair of scissors and a cardigan and headed outdoors. About 30 minutes later, I came walking back up the stairs to our condo with two large brown palm branches, half my size, draped over my shoulder and two pieces of green smaller palm.

The pieces I picked in nature, offered the balance I was looking for against the mirror, and fit nicely in our little beach house for what may be our last summer here.

Of course, in honor of my favorite surfer, I labeled the chalkboard pointing towards the waves and towards the bed, in case we ever get mixed up.

And, another for myself:
Work (towards the door)
Wine (once I pass through that entryway)

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

history on a headstone

Yesterday, Kim and I went to visit the San Luis Rey Pioneer Cemetery, one of the oldest cemeteries in Oceanside, where the founder of Oceanside rests, and the first person buried here was a one year old little girl.

The cemetery was built because Oceanside needed an area to bury people that were not of the Catholic religion. 
I knew Kim would be the perfect friend to go to explore the cemetery with when she muttered, "I think old cemeteries are so fascinating" one day while we were running errands. A lot of people thought we were absolutely bonkers, but the only way to explain it, is that, you get it, if you get it.

So whether or not you get it, here is the experience, captured on film:
Founder of Oceanside
Most recent burial - Oct 30 2014

The beloved Officer Daniel S. Bessant was buried here in 2006. He was shot in the back after responding to assist another officer with a traffic stop. Over 2,000 people attended his memorial ceremony.
Read more of his story here.

 Most of the people buried here had family plots - we spent the majority of the time figuring out where they started, who were siblings, who were daughters and sons, and where the plot ended.
We took a big interest in the Woodruff family because they had such a large section. Turns out in the 40's the Oceanside Unified School District took over the San Luis Rey School District, acquiring this piece of land. Shirley Woodruff, the School Trustee, filed tax exemptions on the burial grounds. For years, he was the only caretaker. Shirley reserved spots for himself and his family in the cemetary.
The only stone with with no end dates.

[If you're interested, you should read about the other pioneer cemetery site here. The story is a little eerie.]

Monday, January 12, 2015

scenes from this weekend.

These are my favorite kind of weekends. I spent a lot of time at home, complimented with a little time with friends.

Saturday morning started with yoga (and my yogacards)...
Then running errands with this little penguin and her momma, followed by lunch at our new favorite restaurant and a pedicure...
And it wouldn't be a weekend without some drama, so, a fire at the condo next to mine shortly after I arrived back home (that was a first)...
 their oven didn't make it...

I greeted Sunday early, early, early with friends for breakfast at Jennie's Cafe.
Breakfast Sandwich (Whole Grain Pancakes stuffed with sausage and eggs)
I was even able to take a peak into a house our friends are moving into, built in the 20's, and absolutely stunning. It is obviously destined to be the new "hangout house," I mean check out the view from their living room, that's the ocean past those trees!

I also got a few things done around the house. I am certain I will never be done decorating and changing things around.
mirror in a mirror in a mirror
Adding this print to my little reading nook B had hanging in his house in college and I just re-framed it to make it pop more. I'm starting to run out of wall space, but it fits so well and it's ironically on the wall next to the entrance of the bathroom.
My biggest project; re-arranging and organizing the man cave and I'm loving how it's turning out. That room has been such an eye sore for me, slowly it's starting to look more put together.

I feel myself turning more and more into a homebody and being content with it. I love my cozy condo and feel like it's such a treat every time I walk through the door.

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

yoga cards

I was returning a sweater from Kohl's the other day and as I was walking back up to the front when I spotted a section of yoga mats and I was instantly drawn in. There was a mint yoga mat that I picked up, and as I was walking out I realized...PRODUCT PLACEMENT, at it's finest! It's the new year and fitness is on the brain for a lot of people, of course there was an entire yoga section at the front of the store. I put down the yoga mat, and walked out. I don't like being the victim of product placement and I have a perfectly usable mat at home. However, I do have to say, if you are looking to fitness for the new year, yoga is defiantly something to look into. Check out this interesting article from TIME.

Later that same weekend I ended up ordering these yoga cards that have been on my wishlist, so in the end product placement still won. These are fantastic! I am really looking forward to focusing more on the proper posture of my poses and trying out many new ones that I haven't yet.
I couldn't help think but how these will not only be great for at home, but for traveling! And then of course, I stumbled upon this travel yoga mat that has been added to my Amazon wishlist.

Monday, January 05, 2015


It snowed in Southern California the other day. SNOWED!  I woke up and looked outside the bedroom window, and saw this...
I could not believe it! It's obviously not common to see snow this close to the coast, usually you have to drive up to Julian or Big Bear, and I am so excited that I lived here to see it happen.

Anyways, I was able to break out a actual jacket! And it happened to be one I got myself for Christmas so I was planning on wearing it soon whether or not the weather agreed with my plans.

Your blog is just pictures of you in a mirror.
[Jacket: Macy's, Sweater: LA Hearts, Tank: H&M, Jeans: American Eagle, Locket: Etsy (gifted), Shoes: Mudd]

I'm not going to lie to you, I walked outside, realized it was much colder than I had thought and instantlly ran back inside and to put on thick knee socks and my favorite pair of boots.